Bullsh*t Breaths

Most of the time, I step out of yoga class feeling like the world is my oyster and I’m just the shiniest damn pearl to exist. Last week, however, was not one of those times. In fact, I felt more like the mud you find on an oyster as opposed to the pearl. If you follow my personal Instagram account, you may have a little insight as to why this yoga class was particularly difficult. But if you don’t, please enjoy the following story…

I have the uncanny ability to roll over screws and nails and, therefore, get flat tires on a regular basis. As I was leaving work last week to head to a yoga class, I thought to myself, “Ya know, Cath, it’s been a while, you must be due for a flat soon.” Not even five minutes later, I’m rolling into the studio parking lot with a flat tire. Rather than do what everyone (including myself) thinks I’d do and FREAK OUT, I tell myself this situation will seem a lot less annoying post yoga, and decide to head into the studio and deal with it after.

Sixty minutes later, I’m peacefully lying in savasana when the instructor opens the back door just above my head to cool the room down. It was in this moment of cooling bliss that a McDonald’s cup came flying through that back door, landed just above my head, and splattered Kool-Aid down my entire body. And mat. (And no – I cannot make this up.) To my complete and utter surprise, I still didn’t FREAK OUT…

Ironically enough, the instructor had been sharing the origin of Virabhadrasana I,II, and III (the “warrior sequence”) throughout class that night. The story is dark and seems completely contradictory to the peaceful practice of yoga. At the end of class, she finished with a tie-in speech about how “not everything is always sunshine and rainbows, and it’s ok to be in a place of darkness.” And that’s when I finally freaked out. Ok, I’m exaggerating. I didn’t freak out, but I did start crying. She then asked us to dedicate our practice to someone and unfortunately, the little sh*t who had just thrown that cup of Kool-Aid at me popped into my head. I took a deep frustrated breath in, and exhaled with the thought, “This is bullsh*t.”

I’ve written a few posts now about breathing exercises. This is not one of them. Yes, the breath can calm the mind; yes, the breath can steady your body; yes, your breath is your life. But the breath can also be used to recognize the “bullsh*t.” Because most of the time, it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. In fact, sometimes it’s lying in a puddle of sugar water on your sticky yoga mat with tears streaming down your face with a flat tire parked outside. But you keep breathing. You just keep breathing. Through the good, the bad, and the bullsh*t.



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